You Make The Hurt Go Away
by violingal2
Summary: Follows Tony and Steve's relationship starting from their first date. Lots of genres, has some fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, and smut later on. Warnings for some d/s later, I will warn you at the beginning of that chapter if you just wanna skip it. Just some Stony following the lives of these lovers. Please review, I get discouraged without them.
1. First Date

**Hello again! This is my first multi-chaptered story so be gentle with me. I did this with my new *official* rp partner Christina who is bunnehxx on tumblr. Omg I love her 3 Anyways-this follows the path of Tony and Steve's relationship starting here with their first date. It's a bit awkward because they both aren't really sure how this is going to work out, but it's cute and fluffy. Special thanks to my *other* Steve-Lexie (captainsassmerica). She read this over and did some hand-holding for me to post it and gave me her opinion which is much appreciated. As always, credit to me for Tony but Christina wrote Steve. Alright I'll stop now. I reallyreallyreally hope you like it :) Disclaimer: Image isn't mine I found it on tumblr not sure who drew it I'm sorry but I'm happy to give credit where credit is due. **

**Chapter 1: First Date**

Steve smiled up gently at the man who was sitting across from him, he couldn't believe that he was on a date with Tony Stark. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair and looked back up at the playboy sitting across from him. "So..." he said not making eye contact. "Tell me about yourself." Steve knew a lot about the man but he wanted to hear it from Tony instead of a S.H.I.E.L.D document.

Tony smiled to himself, seeing the nerves roll off Steve. It's not that he wanted to make the man nervous, he just found it oddly endearing to see how important this was to his friend-maybe boyfriend by the end of the night. He stared at the soldier across the table, studying him. He was surprised by the question, Steve knew lots of things about him-at least the things everyone knew. "Um. I run Stark Industries?" He tried for humor, hoping to ease the soldiers nerves.

"Really?!" Steve asked trying to put on a shocked face, but failing miserably as he smiled. "I did not know that" he said leaning back in his chair. "Well..besides the obvious...what do you like to do for fun?" he said staring up at the dark-haired man. "Do you do anything else besides stay in that lab and work on gizmos and gadgets?" Steve highly doubted that the other man liked to do anything else besides that.

"For-fun?" Tony asked, tasting the word in his mouth. "I, uh I don't know. Lots of stuff." He went for vague answers. He hadn't done 'fun' things since his mother had passed away, it hurt too much, they all reminded him of her. Tony looked up to the blonde to see if he bought it.

Steve nodded and licked his top lip and looked down. "Right" he said, thinking that the man didn't really want to talk to him much, Steve just stared down in silence at the table tracing his fingers in little circular motions. He let out a sigh, wondering if this date was a mistake...he had never been on a date without Bucky there helping him along, Bucky always knew what to say and what to do. Steve cursed himself and shook away the memory of his long lost best friend. He then looked back up at Stark and smiled gently hoping the other man knew what to talk about.

"So-what are you going to get?" Tony asked, not liking the awkwardness between them. The team had insisted that they go out _one time _because it was so obvious how they felt for each other. This wasn't working out the way Tony had thought it would though. It's not that he didn't trust Steve, he just wasn't ready to talk about those things with him. Not yet. "Look. I want you to know that I trust you with stuff and I'm not going to try and hide things from you but I don't trust people very easily so please bear with me I am trying here I just...ugh I'm sorry I suck at this kind of stuff." Tony let out in a long jumble of words, immediately covering his mouth when he realized what had just come out.

Steve stared at the other man and his mouth opened slightly in an almost surprised expression. "Tony...listen it's alright" he said gently looking up at the other man. "I...understand, I really do" he said nodding. He sat up in his chair and leaned forward, picking up a menu and looking up at the other man. "I wonder if they have hamburgers here" he said trying to change the subject so Tony wouldn't be so flustered about what he just said.

"They've got EVERYTHING here" Tony said, smiling at the change. "Seriously, anything you want-they've got it. And it's SO GOOD." He looked over at Steve's beaming face, knowing the man would love the more laid back diner atmosphere than that of the fancy italian place he used to take Pepper to. Maybe this date wouldn't turn out so bad after all.

Steve smiled up at Tony and chuckled softly "Thank goodness, I have been craving a burger for a long time." He gazed up and relaxed when he saw the other man smiling. Steve's heart raced as Tony looked at him, Steve could picture him pushing Tony into that seat and kissing him...running his hands through that hair. Steve's thoughts were quickly interrupted when a waitress asked for his order, his cheeks flushed a light pink as he told her that he wanted a Hamburger with a cola pop at the side. He looked to his side hoping Tony didn't notice the blush.

Tony ordered the same for himself and they chattered about nonsense while they ate, laughing in all the right places. When they were finished and ready to leave, Tony stood and stretched, then reached for Steve's hand, looking up for permission before taking it into his own. He walked the blonde to his car, even holding the door for him. If there was one thing he wasn't going to fuck up, it was this relationship. He pulled up in front of Steve's SHIELD issued apartment, biting back another comment on how Steve should just come live in the tower with everyone else in the Avengers. He stopped the car and sat for a moment, contemplating what he should do next.

Steve couldn't keep the smile off of his face the whole ride home, his cheeks were starting to hurt from it. His heart fluttered as Tony and himself sat in the car together, looking over out of the corner of his eye at Tony. His heart beat started to speed as he opened his mouth, struggling to ask the question he had on his mind. "Tony, are you going to walk me to my door?" he asked, blushing a deep red.

Tony flushed, but tried to hide it with a chaste "Of course" before getting out of the car and running to Steve's side, opening the door and walking with him hand in hand. He turned to Steve when he got the the door of his apartment. "What now?" he asked, his eyes curious as to how far Steve was willing to go on this first date.

"Back in my time," Steve looked nervous as he said this "You would lean in and give the dame a kiss on the lips" he said rushing the words and keeping his face down to hide from the blush. "I don't really know if that's what you do in this time or anything..." he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Tony looked down, not meeting Steve's eyes. "I just don't want to move to fast or...I don't know. Freak you out. This is important-you are important to me. I don't want to fuck this up."

Steve contemplated before answering "Tony, I have been frozen for 70 years in a block of ice...it will take a lot to freak me out" he said gently looking up at Tony. He raised his hand and gently caressed under Tony's chin, leaning forward half way to Tony's lips. He recited what Bucky would tell him '_You move half way Steve and the girl moves the other half, don't move all the way or you will scare her.' _Steve closed his eyes waiting and praying silently Tony moved the other half.

Tony knew this dance well. But this time, it wasn't a hooker or lingerie model, this was Steve. Captain fucking America. He had to do this right. He looked straight into Steve's bright blue eyes before closing the distance, kissing him softly.

Steve smiled at the kiss, it wasn't like kissing Peggy or that blonde girl who attacked him and made Peggy fire a gun at him. Kissing Tony was much different and he loved the feel of another man's lips against his. Steve pulled away from Tony's lips and smiled, the pink blush on his cheeks making his blue eyes sparkle even more. He tried to say something, but his lips just moved silently and he stared at Tony with a love-struck stare.

Tony leaned forward and nuzzled into the taller man's neck, loving the feeling of all of this. "Good?" he asked quietly, smiling like an idiot.

Steve smirked and wrapped his arms around Tony's smaller body and brought him close in a tight hug. "Perfect." he answered truthfully. "Thank you for the dinner Tony...I really enjoyed it" he said releasing the smaller man and smiling down at him. He took the keys out of his pocket and opened his door. "When will I see you again?" he asked, turning to the billionaire.

Tony looked down, not wanting to come off as needy. "Whenever, you know where to find me"

Steve nodded "Yeah...I'll see you around then" Steve walked into his house closing the door behind him. He peeked out his window and then leaned against his door and slid down with a happy sigh, he biting his bottom lip and smiling. 'I think I am in love' he thought to himself when he heard Bucky's voice appear in his head from a memory. '_No matter what you think Steve, after your first kiss, you are NOT in love. You just feel that way, don't let her know that you feel this way either, just keep it to yourself.' _ Steve shook his head, there was no way Bucky could be right about this one.

Tony got back in the car and just stared at the road for a minute, before smiling so big it hurts his face. The date had been perfect, everything he had wanted. Now-he just had to figure out how to have more of them.

**What do you think? I have eight chapters written out already, but I might split them up into shorter ones since some of them are VERY long. Pleasepleaseplease tell me if you like this and want to see the rest. It's SO MUCH editing, and if you don't like it just tell me and I won't go through the trouble lol. PLEASE REVIEW. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE THEY MAKE ME SMILE LIKE AN IDIOT. I hope you liked it :) **


	2. Carnival

**Chapter two! Just some more fluff. Plot gets deeper in the next chapter I promise :) Enjoy!**

**Chapter Two: Carnival**

Steve looked around, his eyes wide. He was hand in hand with his boyfriend at the biggest carnival he had ever seen. He tugged gently at Tony's arm, "Tony! Look how big that teddy bear is" he squealed, amazed at the size of it. He looked back and forth with a certain familiarity about everything. "This is much different from my time...everything is much bigger...and faster" he admitted, gasping as he looked up at ride that went upside down while spinning.

Tony laughed out loud at the look on his soldier's face. "Yeah-the carnival is fun. Want to try it?" he asked gesturing towards the ride Steve had been eyeing.

Steve smiled nervously and shook his head "No...I think I will pass on that one" he sighed, chuckling lightly. "I am not a fan of upside down" he said, gently staring at Tony. He gave his boyfriend's hand a squeeze before dodging a bunch of kids running past him.

"What looks good then? Whatever you want Cap. What haven't you ever tried before that you really want to?" Tony smiled, this carnival was always a fun one when it came to town, and he knew Steve would love it. He gripped Steve's hand tighter and waited for an answer.

Steve looked around and smiled up at the enormous wheel in the sky. "I wouldn't mind riding the ferris wheel" he looked over at the man, eyes questioning. "Anything with you is good" he whispered, leaning closer to the other man. He looked around at all of the people there having fun, his favorite thing to do was to people watch, which would be fun on a giant wheel.

Tony laughed out loud. Or course, the ferris wheel. "Sure" he said nonchalantly, wondering if Steve knew what couples ACTUALLY did on ferris wheels. He took Steve's hand and led them to the enormous wheel. Blissfully, there was a short line so they got on quickly. As the wheel rose in the sky, Tony leaned onto Steve's shoulder and sighed contentedly.

Steve had trouble hiding his excitement as they rode the giant wheel, he laughed and looked around as they travelled higher in the sky. He leaned over and kissed the top of Tony's hair, gripping Tony's hand. "Tony...I love you" he murmured into Tony, as they reached the top of the wheel. He then froze, realizing what he just said to the other man.

Tony stilled, completely taken aback by what Steve had just said. Tony turned to look into his eyes, he needed to see for himself. "I-" Tony stammered, so unprepared for this moment. He wasn't good at this kind of stuff. Emotional encounters like this required careful planning and consideration, for which he just hadn't done yet. Tony just sat gaping mouthed, saying nothing.

_Shit shit shit shit_. Steve frowned cursing at himself for letting his emotions get ahead of him. Bucky would have just punched him...hard, and Steve really wished he was there to do so. Steve looked away from Tony, feeling as though he just ruined everything he worked so hard to get. Steve put his hand to his mouth and looked off the ride hoping it would just end.

Tony, seeing Steve's obvious distress, started backtracking. And he realized he hadn't said anything back. He grabbed Steve's wrists, squeezing them reassuringly. "Steve, look at me." Once he caught Steve's gaze, he leaned forward and kissed him-hard. When they pulled back, both gasping, he leaned on Steve's shoulder, sighing again. "I love you too" He whispered.

Steve's eyes widened at the kiss and he smiled down at Tony when he said those three words. Once the ride came to a stop he got off, pulling his new lover by the hand and walking away from the ride with him. He looked at Tony and took a deep breath "I have one more thing to say" he said gently caressing Tony's face, his hand rubbing down to Tony's neck and shoulder. "I...I don't want to sound pushy or anything" Steve said nervously not making eye contact with Tony. "Maybe...I should move in with you-If thats okay with you of course! I don't want to sound like I am inviting myself in" he said rambling.

Tony lets out a small gasp in surprise, he hadn't seen this coming. "Steve. Of course you can move in. I only stopped badgering you about it before because you told me it made you uncomfortable. I _want_ you to move in. So yes. Move in. Good." Tony smiled hugely, bringing Steve in for a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek.

Steve laughed lightly and rubbed his cheek gently against Tony's cheek "Could this day get any better?" he asked with a happy sigh. He held back the urge to pick Tony up and to spin him in circles. He looked up at the sky and then back at Tony not knowing how to put his feelings into words. He had the urge to spill everything to Tony, just to tell him how happy Tony has made him, but Tony should already know that. Steve just smiled looking around in glee.

Tony leaned in for another kiss, pushing Steve back so hard they both fell backwards onto the grass, giggling like fools. "I love you so much" Tony whispered, running his fingers through Steve's hair as they laid together. "You are everything to me"

Steve smiled and nodded "You are everything to me too" he said smiling over at his boyfriend. "You make the hurt go away." he stared up at the sky as a firework exploded right above them.

"Let's get out of here" Tony whispered, pulling Steve up and they sauntered back to the car hand in hand, heading home to the bed that they now shared.

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	3. Phone Sex

**HERE YOU GO. Warnings for phone sex-if you no likey then skip it :P**

**Chapter Three: PHONE SEX**

Tony picked up his cell phone, quickly calculating the time it would be back in New York. 9:37 PM seemed a suitable time to call his boyfriend, so he clicked the name and waited. "Hey baby I miss you" He said once the call was connected, trying not to sound too excited.

"_Sir Mr. Stark is calling"_ Steve looked up, jumping out of his seat, he would never get used to a talking house. He eyed the ceiling suspiciously looking for a hidden camera or something that let the robot know he was in there. "Thanks J..Jar-'_Jarvis sir_' Right I will pick it up here" Steve walked over to a phone and picked it up, walking into their bedroom. "Hi Tony, I miss you more" he admitted, jumping onto the bed and relaxing.

"Doubt that" Tony said, and in the background, you could hear the sound of a door shutting behind him. "Ugh I had meetings all day and I just wanted to come home and cuddle with you." Tony admitted quietly. "Where are you right now?" He asked innocently.

Steve made a silent 'AWWW' when he heard Tony missed him. "Wel,l right now I am laying in our bed...missing you" he said, sighing as he stared longingly at Tony's vacant pillow. "Wish you were here babe."

"Oh me too honey, believe me." Tony sighed. He was so horny it wasn't even okay. He and Steve had talked about sex, but agreed that they wanted to take things slow, so they hadn't gone any farther than making out. Which was actually a huge deal for Steve. Tony thought about the consequences of his actions, but then gave up. Fuck it, he thought to himself. "What are you wearing right now?"

Steve chuckled at the silly question but looked down at his clothes "One of your shirts and a pair of boxers" he answered truthfully. "To be exact, I'm wearing the black shirt with the bleach stain and my blue boxers" he said, not understanding the reality the question.

Tony smiled at Steve's innocence. "God. I love it when you wear my clothes. You always look so hot" He drawled, breathing heavy as he imagined the sight.

Steve bit his knuckle a little bit "Tony!" he said in a whiny tone but he was blushing red and smiling.

"God Steve I wish..." Tony cut himself off before he could say something that may be damaging to their delicate relationship. _I am so horny right now. I wish you were here. So badly. _Tony thinks to himself, but doesn't say out loud.

Steve cocked his head to the side, waiting for the rest of Tony's sentence. "You wish what, Tony?" he asked while rubbing his fingertips against his own stomach.

"I just miss you so much" He whispers, admitting it. "I really-God. I wish I were there with you. In my bed. The things I would do to you..." He trailed off, not wanting to push things too far.

Steve's right eyebrow raised up and he smiled gently "W-what kind of things would you do to me?" he asked as his hand trailed under his boxers, he ran his hand up and down his bunny-trail.

"Goddddd everything. Anything. Whatever you want." Tony's breathing sped, blood going straight to his cock.

Steve grunted as his fingertips touched his own cock and it started to get hard. He bit his lip hoping Tony didn't hear the noise. "I want you to tell me what you would do to me To-ahhhh" Steve bit his lip as he wrapped his fingers around his penis and started to rub. "Tony" he said finishing his sentence.

"Are you-touching yourself?" Tony asked, starting to palm his own crotch. "That is so fucking hot Steve. So fucking unffff" Tony cut off as he put his own hand in his pants, grasping his cock tightly and just squeezing himself. "Goddddd Steve"

Steve blushed when Tony asked him if he was touching himself, it sounded so dirty...but so good. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, imagining it being Tony's hand touching him, instead of his own. "Tony" Steve said through pants. "Oh goodness Tony" he bit his lip hard once more as he started to pump faster on his own dick. "Gosh, I wish this were you touching me" he said gasping.

"That's right baby, you rub yourself for me, does that feel good? Yeah? Tell me what you want, beg for me" Tony loved talking dirty, it got him so hard, he could only imagine his soldier shattering apart as he touched himself, thinking of Tony. "Tell me what you want from me baby" he whispered into the phone, rubbing himself faster.

Steve blushed a dark shade of red while Tony said those dirty things. His mind was foggy as he started to beg. "Tony...please" he said letting out another gasp "Tony I-I want you t-to touch me...everywhere" Steve said, his voice cracking as another moan came out of his mouth.

"Yeah-let me hold you. Let me touch that dick. Hmm you like that? That feel good? You are so dirty Steve you fucking dirty man you want me to touch you like this and you like it-you love it. You're begging for it baby, keep telling me, are you close baby?"

Steve gasped and panted "Yes it feels a-amazing" Steve gasped "I am close so so so close" Steve grunted as he tried to hold himself back. "Please Tony...let me come." he begged, his face red and flushed and the black shirt stuck to his body from the sweat produced. His thighs started to tremble as he came closer and closer.

"Yeah-it feel good Steve? God you feel amazing in my hand, you're shaking, aren't you? You're so fucking close I can feel it, I can feel you ready. Yeah-you like it? You're such a good boy you beg me, fuck it makes me so hot. I want you to hold your dick tight, imagine it's me. I want you to feel my hand around you and think it's me rubbing you. I want you to come for me Steven"

Steve totally lost it when Tony used his full name. "Oh Go-Ahhh!" Steve's back arched as seed spilled over his hand, he let out a loud moan and collapsed onto the bed and silently panted as he tried to catch his breath. Steve listened for Tony and sat there smiling tiredly.

Tony followed suit and came all over his hand, moaning Steve's name. They stayed on the phone panting-not saying anything. He then broke the silence. "Wow" Tony whispered. "That was..." He was at a loss for words, but he was smiling like an idiot. He had just made Steve come. For probably the first time in 70 years.

Steve smiled tiredly "I wish you were here" he whispered, wanting his boyfriend now more than ever. "I haven't felt that way...well for a long time" He said, chuckling gently. Steve never really had any luck with the dames and the only time he would come is when he did it himself, and that was maybe once or twice...not many times. "Tony...I love you" Steve said wiping his hand on a tissue from the night stand and cleaning himself up with it. He rolled over and pulled Tony's pillow close to him and nuzzled it.

Tony smiled and laughed. "Well I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't want to push you into anything but...we should do this kind of stuff more often." Tony laughed again, imagining how much Steve must be blushing. "I love you too and I miss you lots, I'll be home tomorrow, and we can maybe go out to eat or something? The food here sucks." Tony smiled, he loved this man so much it should be criminal. He cleaned himself up with a washcloth in the hotel bathroom and slipped on Steve's sweatshirt that had a logo of his shield on the front. Tony had secretly taken it, knowing that the smell of Steve was the only thing that could really ground him when he was this far away from his boyfriend.

Steve rubbed his face into the pillow more "Yeah dinner sounds great" he said and smirked, wanting to throw Tony through a loop. "Then maybe after we can come home...and have dessert?" He tried to say it in the sexiest voice he could muster but frowned when he heard what it really sounded like.

Tony laughed out loud. "God you are so adorable." He let out an undignified giggle, trying to stifle the noises as he climbed into bed. "Only one more night without you in my bed though. I've been getting rather cold."

Steve sighed "I have been...well..." Steve considered telling Tony about the bad dreams that have been coming to him since Tony was gone. "Having...memories" he said, frowning. He really hated going to sleep without Tony there...it seemed the memories only haunted him when his lover wasn't in his arms.

Tony sighed. "I-yeah. Me too. I wish..." He looked towards the suitcase armor he had brought with him. "God I wish I could be home right now. I miss you so much" He whispered. He wasn't sleeping at all without his boyfriend, but he didn't want Steve to worry so he had refrained from telling him.

Steve sighed and nodded understandingly. "I have an idea, put your phone on that speaker-thingy so you can hear my voice...and I can tell you war stories until you fall asleep" he said gently "Or I can try to sing to you but that might not be the best choice" Steve laughed softly, Bucky always told him his voice sounded like nails against a chalk-board.

"Really?" Tony asks, sounding so vulnerable. "Thanks" he whispered, switching to speakerphone and clicking off the light.

Steve smiled and relaxed a little bit before starting his story "On this one mission, Bucky was ahead of me..." he started and during the story he would have little snorts and smiles. He continued the stories throughout the whole night, Steve really didn't need sleep that much anyway seeing as he slept for 70 years.

Tony listened until the words blended together and he drifted off to a peaceful sleep, to the sound of his lover's voice.

***PLEASE READ* I'm not putting up the other chapters until I get reviews because there is a lot to do and if you aren't going to take the time to tell me if you liked it or not (which I know you did when you follow and favorite it), then I'm not going to spend the time making it post worthy. I do this for YOU GUYS. I can read it anytime I want. So please be considerate and leave me something because when I don't hear anything from my readers, it makes me really discouraged and it doesn't make me want to write stuff that I'm going to post. I don't want to be mean but seriously, the box is RIGHT THERE. If you click the box saying you want to follow the story, the least you can do is type a few words in the box RIGHT ABOVE IT about what you thought. SO. Nothing more until I get reviews. Please? I've tried asking nicely and it doesn't really work all that well. So I'm holding the other six chapters hostage until I hear some feedback. What I have written so far is 27,000 words long, and there's more coming. SO PLEASE BE NICE TO ME AND POST A REVIEW. Thank you. *End rant.*  
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	4. PTSD Attack

**I'M SORRY. REALLY TRULY I AM. I HONSTLY MEANT TO PUT THIS UP BEFORE I LEFT BUT THINGS GOT CHAOTIC AND STRESSFUL AND WAH. A lot of stuff happened and just wow I'm really sorry here's the next part PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. **

"GOT YOU" Tony yelled, splashing his boyfriend in the face and turning to swim away. Steve then grabbed his arm and pulled Tony back, bringing him in a for quick kiss. Tony leaned into his embrace, smiling when he pulled away. Tony raked his hand through Steve's wet, blonde hair, spiking it up. "You look too cute, you know that?" He kissed his boyfriend on the cheek, before splashing him from behind and turning to run swiftly away. "Come and get meeee" He taunted, laughing and smiling.

Steve laughed at Tony's playfulness, loving the feel of the water around him. He let his boyfriend get a head start knowing that he could easily out swim him...but what was the fun in that? He laughed and started to slowly swim towards Tony, he increased his speed and dove under the water and appeared again right behind him. "Got you!" Steve laughed, putting his hands on Tony's shoulders and dunking him under the water playfully. He smiled, petting his hair back into shape and waiting for his boyfriend to re-appear.

Tony gasped as he felt strong arms pushing him down and he suddenly forgot where he was and who was holding his shoulders, all he could think about were the terrorists who had tortured him. Every time he had refused their demands, he was pushed under the oily water, held there until he had no air left and then he was pulled up, sputtering and choking. When he was pushed under, his mind went into survival mode and he started fighting back-hard. He felt the grip on him loosen, then fall away as he fought to the surface, jumping away from the searching hands on his face. He distantly heard someone asking if he was okay, what was happening, how they could help. He didn't answer, he just needed to keep himself safe. He backed up until he felt a wall, the whole world was spinning so he shut his eyes tight, covering his face with his arms to try and stop anything from advancing on him. He stayed like that just breathing and shaking, trying to keep himself as enclosed as he could. He could feel warm tears slipping down his face but it didn't matter, he just had to make it stop. "MAKE IT STOP." He realized he had been muttering and talking when he heard the echo of his scream, his senses coming back to him. He listened more intently, hearing the lap of water against the edges of the pool, and quick breathing a few feet away from him. He lifted his head slowly, opening his eyes a bit to see his pool around him, his boyfriend standing just in front of him, arms outstretched and a look of horror covering his face. Tony locked eyes with him and broke when he saw the fear in Steve's eyes. He covered his face with his hands, letting out a sob. At this, Steve ran forward, catching Tony in a tight hug and tucking the shorter man under his chin, rocking him back and forth, telling him he is safe, that he is sorry, that he is okay. Tony held on tight- and cried, he hadn't had a flashback like that ever since him and Steve had been dating-it had taken him by surprise. He was starting to get light headed from his shallow breathing and he tried to deepen his breathes, attempting to control his shaking body and the flow of tears.

Steve watched as his boyfriend started to cry. Steve put a slow hand to his own mouth and bit his lip hard blaming himself, cursing himself, hating himself. He swam towards Tony and gently wrapped his arms around the crying man. "Tony...you are okay...I have you." He rocked Tony back and forth gently, never has Steve seen this man cry before. "Shhh babe, I am so sorry." Steve said, getting choked up on his own words. He couldn't believe he was the reason Tony went into this frenzy. Steve wrapped his left arm around Tony's waist and his right arm went under Tony's legs,holding him like a bride. Steve slowly and carefully stepped out of the water with Tony and sat on a chair with him in his lap. The soldier grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his boyfriend and placed his lips against Tony's forehead kissing it gently. "Tony it's going to be alright...I promise" Steve said in a hushed tone. Steve sat there holding and comforting his boyfriend by kissing his head and rocking him gently. He softly started to hum the tune the show-girls used to sing about him, seeing as it was the only song that popped in his head, his lips parted as he lightly started to say the words "Who's strong and brave here to save the American way? Who vows to fight like a man for what's right, night and day?" Steve closed his eyes hoping it would help as he continued "Who will campaign door to door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane? The Star Spangled Man with a plan!" he said gently hoping that helped even a little. He hated singing in front of people but for Tony he would do anything.

Tony leaned into Steve's grip, blindly grasping at his boyfriend's wet skin as he was held. He tried to calm his frantic breathing and ended up settling for short gasps, shaking not just from the cold. He shook his head to rid it of water droplets, then leaned straight into Steve's shoulder and cried-it had been the first time he had really let go after Afghanistan, never allowing himself enough time to think about it and get this far. He held on tight and sniffed loudly, attempting to tell Steve he was okay but not able to get anything out of his shaking mouth. He settled for pressing his lips against Steve's collarbone and kissing him lightly, leaning back to take in another shaking breath before laying against Steve unmoving, tears slowing, and focusing on his breath.

Steve sighed and held his boyfriend tightly against himself, "Shh...it is okay Tony...you're okay." he said rubbing Tony's back. He didn't know how to comfort his boyfriend anymore than he was already doing. He rubbed his cheek over Tony's hair and kissed the side of Tony's mouth. "It will be alright Tony, I have you. I promise _nothing_ will ever take you away from me again." He stated, and it was true, he would die before anything took Tony away from him. Steve wrapped Tony up more in his arms, attempting to keep the man warm under the towel. "I love you," he whispered, kissing Tony's head once more.

Tony nodded, looking up into Steve's eyes and seeing the hurt there. He took his arm out from under the towel, reaching up to touch Steve's frown. He was no longer shaking and the tears came slower, his breath coming more regularly. He still didn't trust himself to talk so he caressed Steve's face, hating the way it was contorted in pain. "I love you too" he whispered, then fell back into his embrace, feeling his nerves calming. After another minute of sitting in silence, he whispered, "I'm okay." And promptly went to get up, ready to just brush this whole thing off and pretend it never happened. "Yeah I'm good." He tried to stand, but was pulled back down onto Steve's lap.

"Tony" Steve said gripping onto his wrist tightly he pulled the man back into his lap, a little forcefully "Tell me the truth, are you really...okay?" he asked not knowing how to deal with this. He wanted to help more than anything, he placed his head above Tony's head and held him close to him, so Tony's head was against where Steve's heart was and Tony could hear his heartbeat in hopes that would help.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Happens sometimes. No big deal." He brushed it off as if these kinds of things happened every day, and went to try and get up AGAIN, and was yet again pulled back down.

"No big deal!?" Steve asked, his face still with a hurt/serious expression. "Tony...you were just-" Steve cut himself off, Tony knew exactly how he just was. "No." He said simply "You are staying here" Steve was thinking about just not letting him go...ever. "That was not okay" Steve said, clearly upset.

"STEVE. I'M FINE. LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT ALRIGHT?" Tony hunched off the arms around him and finally made it to his feet, tripping a bit as he tried to stalk away. He made it as far as the ladder before feeling a soft hand on his shoulder. He stopped, but didn't turn.

"Tony please" Steve said softly "I want to help you" he said practically begging him. He brought his chest to Tony's back and placed his forehead on the back of Tony's head desperately. He needed to help Tony, he craved to help Tony.

"No." Tony said harshly. He barely ever let anyone in, and never talked about what happened in Afghanistan except what he was forced to by SHIELD. "I'm fine, okay?" He says, somewhat unconvincing. He turns to Steve and tries for a smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "See? Totally okay. Stop worrying."

Steve kept a straight face and he pulled away, dodging Tony's kiss on his cheek. He shook his head at him, not believing him for a second. "You say you love me, but how can that be when you don't let me in?" Steve asks, his face a mixture of hurt and concern. "I know whatever is hurting you may be hard to say but if you allow me to I can help you...I just need to know what I am helping you with" Steve said, dodging another attempt from Tony to touch him. Steve took a step away from Tony and crossed his arms. "Please" he said looking down at the water in the pool. "Let me in Tony, you are all I have" Steve said not making eye contact with his boyfriend.

Tony stared at his boyfriend for a minute, measuring his chances of lying effectively before giving up-pitching forward a bit before sitting down on the grass a few feet from the pool.

"They tortured me" He said quietly, though he knew Steve would hear him with the serum to enhance his hearing. "They put me under water, drowning me, trying to force to to make weapons for them." Tony looked up then. He didn't want Steve to feel guilty, but he couldn't not tell the truth now. "When you pushed me under, it just brought back a lot of memories. And I freaked. I lost myself for a minute, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Tony looks back down at his hands. "Sometimes my thoughts get the best of me" He sounds so vulnerable, afraid to show Steve this side of him.

Steve walked over frowning as he explained his feelings, first people tortured Bucky...now his Tony? He clenched his fists angrily and sat down next to Tony "I am sorry" He said once more, quietly. He leaned closer so his arm touched Tony's arm, Steve then reached over and interlocked fingers with Tony's, bringing Tony's hand up to his own lips, kissing it tenderly. He was quiet and just held Tony's hand trying to comfort him the best he could, "I have you now Anthony and I promise no one will ever harm you again." Steve said squeezing his hand tightly.

Tony nodded, looking up into Steve's eyes. "I love you-you know that right?"

Steve looked over at Tony and swallowed a hard lump in his throat, he did this...he brought this monster of a memory back when he was supposed to be the one fighting the monsters away. "Y-yeah, I love you too" Steve said not looking at Tony's eyes, he couldn't stand seeing the redness from crying. Steve had caused his boyfriend pain. He was thinking of ways to punish himself and there was no proper way. He let go of Tony's hand and he stood up, wanting to punch something out of frustration. He looked back down at Tony not knowing if he should sit and stay with him or go off so he couldn't hurt him anymore...Steve stood there for a few minutes just staring down at Tony's shoulder not wanting to make eye contact because his own eyes became watery.

"Steve...?" Tony looked up, then stood, seeing that Steve wouldn't meet his eyes. He took his face into his hands and forced his face to look at his. "Look at me Steven. This isn't your fault. We were just playing. You had no idea. I should have told you. Please. Don't cry baby. I love you so much. This doesn't change that. You are amazing, and I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. You are here. You helped me through it, and that's really-that's what counts." Tony thumbed away Steve's tears and kissed his lips lightly, "You will always be my Steve, it's not like I'm going to leave you. Ever. So don't get upset okay? Shit happens right? C'mon hun. Let's go inside. I'm starving"

"Fuck Tony" Steve said pushing his lover's arms away, it was rare for Steve to use such vulgar language but he was really upset, he _hurt_ his Tony, his boyfriend, his love. "Its not okay, I made you hurt" he said taking a step away from him. Steve used the inside of his own wrist to wipe his own tears away. Steve pulled his own hair back frustratedly "I've hurt so many people, I've made so many people cry...but you? You were the last person I wanted to hurt" Steve's voice cracked and he took another step away. "I hate myself." he mumbled.

"No baby don't say that. It wasn't your fault. It was those terrorist, those fucking murderers. It's their faults. Not yours. Never yours. I love you. Nothing in this world will ever change that. Please don't blame yourself. Please. It kills me, to see you like this. Come here" Tony stepped forward and pulled Steve into an awkward embrace since Steve is taller than him. "Don't ever say that Steven. Not ever. I don't ever want to hear that come out of your mouth ever again. Promise me." Tony looked up into Steve's glistening eyes, begging the man to stop blaming himself.

Steve stared down at the man, his arms dangling at his sides for a moment before he wrapped his arms around Tony, pulling the man closer. "It killed me to see you like that" he said softly. Steve finally made eye contact with his lover and took a deep breath "Knowing, that I triggered something...I-I didn't know how to comfort you...I couldn't just swing my shield and fix this..." Steve sighed and quickly pulled Tony into a deep kiss.

"I forgive you. Okay? I love you" Tony smiled and leaned in for another kiss, before pulling away and darting away with the towel. "C'mon! Let's go eat!"

"I love you too" Steve said turning to watch him dart away. He smiled gently and followed him. Steve wasn't that hungry but he forced a smile on. "Right, food." he said, walking besides the man that he was in love with.

**I am seriously dissappointed with this. It needs a lot of work but I felt guilty not giving you anything so here. I might fix it later idk this story is driving me CRAZY. Wahhh I'm sorry this sucked and I'm sorry it took so long for this piece of shit to come to your doorstep. I've just been doing a lot on my other writing so ya know, I haven't really wanted to deal with this. But here you are, hope it didn't kill your soul :P**


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